In spiritual disciplines, we usually find advise to not follow desires, to not indulge in extremities, to not go with your restless energies etc. This might work as a fake it till you make it concept. But the truth is, that the spiritual inclination is something we cannot always explain. Especially if it is genuine. Because it has not reason or rationality to it. There might have been some reason when you decided to explore it to feel good, or be happy or to end suffering. But then you enter a stage after that which is completely destructive to your story in life. At this stage you cannot go back to your old ways of following a good feeling, be it though a meditative or yoga practice or the bliss of the quiet mountains or indulgence in material things. At this stage you are fully aware of the raging war inside you between truth and illusion. And here you had better allow truth to win and this might be at the cost of all your illusions, or in other words your false beliefs, your ideas, ideologies, your bullshit, being confronted and slain by your own awareness of them. There is nothing angelic about this stage. It can be painful and you may not always see clearly. But your love and intention is the only thing that will take you through it. If anything you will walk around with your hair in shambles and barely hanging on to your bearings. But even in this war zone, something inside you might still be smiling, because you know that this is pure grace. It does not feel like the doom that you experienced when you were still a full person with insecurities based on what you were conditioned by. This is a sacred destruction, Shiva’s destruction, he being the symbol for the destroyer of illusions. So spirituality is not for you if you have a lot to lose. Because you can be rest assured you will lose absolutely everything. Not necessary that you will end up on the streets. Although that is possibility as well. But the point is that it won’t matter to you what you lose in the realm of illusions, because you know that you have no choice but to see it through to the end. It calls for a love and faith that is way bigger than all your insecurities and fears. The left brained logical mind might call this stupid. But you know that this is what you are here for. If you have a doubt then you mustn’t even get on this journey. Not to discourage, but that it what it calls for. And if you are not willing to die to this, you could be stuck in a place you don’t want to be and settle for less, which would be a sellout. In the end you will see how beautifully things turn out, with you out of the way. You will see all your fears were nothing but mirrors showing you scary reflections of your mind’s imagination which came from conditioning that was projected on you through the ignorance of the world around you. So you need to go inward and remove this conditioning so the spontaneity can flow.
The desirelessness, the restfulness, the peace, the silence, the contentment for no reason, are all the result of a true and genuine transformation. In fact if there is a desire, you might as well go with it till it exhausts itself. If your seeking is genuine, then you will set up sweet disaster for yourself at every step, which will by itself refine your tastes to appreciating and creating peace, love and joy as your natural state that does not depend on anything outside yourself. This will be your experience when you, as a person with all your ideas come to an end and silence expresses as depth, intensity, fearlessness, love and purity. You will then experience yourself as everything and nothing, you will then experience yourself as timelessness.
As you see yourself in this light, your need to accumulate wealth, your need to consume, and you need to chase experiences, will be replaced with intense appreciation for all that is. If a large number of us transform to this state, we wouldn’t cut down trees like there is no tomorrow to build blocks of ugly high-rises that block out the sun and increase the heat. We wouldn’t pollute the earth through excessive consumption of fuels that emit poison into the air. We wouldn’t hoard at the expense of the less fortunate. We wouldn’t hurt animals to wear things we think make us stand out in society and feel good about ourselves. We wouldn’t see distinctions between anything be it people or other species and hence there would be no wars or terror. We would be simply love expressing love.
But it is your choice.